Dear Cis Men Who Are Sad About Not Getting To Make Individual Choices About Abortion And Therefore Want To Make Choices For Everyone Else

Earlier this evening I sent a tweet regarding the anti-abortion laws just passed in Texas. Not long after I received this response (from a men’s rights activist whom many of us know and love):

@Glosswitch Well, it’s a start, at least. Our post on abortion in the UK

Obviously, when we’re witnessing the rollback of fundamental reproductive freedoms, it doesn’t seem worth getting het up about one MRA’s pitiful decision to gloat about it. Hey, at least someone’s got a brief chuckle out of the real pain and trauma that this ruling will cause. If MRAs want to cause offence, they’ll have to try a lot harder given how offensive the real world is. Nonetheless, curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on the link supplied. Just what IS the world-famous Justice 4 Men and Boys position on abortion? Well, it’s laced with misogyny, naturally. But it’s a peculiarly interesting, childish type that seems especially easy to tackle. Therefore I thought I might as well give it a go.

Apparently, when men oppose abortion, it’s “often because of men’s total lack of reproductive rights”:

men having no legal right to challenge women’s ‘choices’, whatever those choices might be. Men only have potential responsibilities in this area. In the case of a woman becoming pregnant – whether accidentally or otherwise – and she decides to bear the child, the man will be required to financially support the child for 18+ years. If he fails to do so – or the mother refuses to identify the man – the financial burden will fall on taxpayers. Men collectively pay 72% of the income tax in the UK, women only 28%. As usual, women exercise ‘choices’, and men pay the bills, either individually or collectively.

Now, I’m not going to go into the whole income tax thing (other than to note, in passing, that if this is accurate, the pay gap – and by extension, the financial impact having a child, wanted or not, can have on a woman’s life – is worse than I thought). What gets me is it seems there are people who oppose abortion on the basis that if they can’t have one, no one else should be able to. This is not quite the same as opposing abortion due to an inability to empathise with anyone faced with a crisis pregnancy; plenty of us find that difficult, regardless of whether or not we are able to become pregnant ourselves. What I am referring to here, however, are people who mistakenly believe that because they will never be pregnant, allowing others reproductive freedom is discriminatory in and of itself. It’s not.

Since the men mentioned above are cis men – and since I’ve not yet encountered a trans woman coming out with this crap, perhaps because she’ll have a slightly better understanding of actual discrimination – this is directed at cis men who oppose abortion on these spurious grounds (I know many cis men who do not feel this way – these tend to be the kind of cis men I want to associate with).

Dear Cis Men Who Are Sad About Not Getting To Make Individual Choices About Abortion And Therefore Want To Make Choices For Everyone Else

I fully respect your reproductive freedom. As far as abortion is concerned, I have no wish for anyone to challenge your choices, choices which I will not put in scare quotes because I understand these to be actual choices, not casual whims.

Should you ever become pregnant, I want the decision to continue with or end the pregnancy to be yours, and yours alone. I won’t resent you for it. I won’t decide that making such a crucial decision relating to your short- and long-term health and bodily autonomy is something you should have to beg for. It’s your body, yours. If you choose to do something with that body which leads to the birth of another human being, I expect you to take responsibility for him or her, but as long as you own your flesh and blood, I respect your right to prioritise your own physical integrity and wellbeing.

I am sorry that, to date, there is no documented evidence of a cis man getting pregnant, let alone having an abortion. I’m sorry you feel you’re missing out. I often feel that way about vasectomies but manage to cope due to the knowledge that, if I ever did get some balls, you’d respect me enough to let me do with them as I pleased.

Now please trust others with their own bodies, and concentrate on making up bizarre economic rationalisations for dismissing the contributions to worldwide productivity of anyone who isn’t you (such rationalisations are so off the wall they’re not even annoying).

Many thanks

One of the could-have-an-unwanted-pregnancy-and-therefore-possibly-an-abortion privileged (although I’ll go through the menopause sooner or later, so then you can resent me and my ilk for entirely different made-up reasons)


27 thoughts on “Dear Cis Men Who Are Sad About Not Getting To Make Individual Choices About Abortion And Therefore Want To Make Choices For Everyone Else

  1. So, no comments on the 8.2 million+ foetuses in the UK (half of them female, let’s not forget) who will have been killed between the Abortion Act (1967) and the 2015 general election, exceeding the current combined populations of Scotland and Wales? What would the number have to be, for you to think the issue of women’s ‘choices’ in this area should possibly – just possibly, mind – be debated again? 18 million foetuses? 28 million foetuses? 100 million foetuses?

    Mike Buchanan

    (and the women who love them)

    1. Fuck you. One of those babies was mine. I was 13, it was rape. To have carried to term would have wrecked my life and given a very hard start to my child’s. Do you honestly think my 14 year old rapist gave a fuck whether or not I got pregnant?

  2. NO man nor woMAN has the right to CHOOSE what another does with THEIR body. Exclamation mark. Period! Its appalling! that MEN who will NEVER be able to bear a child; are in positions to change the laws. IF men could bear children??? THIS would never have been an issue or debate. IF men are that concerned what happens AFTER they lay down with a woman to have SEX..Or aren’t intelligent enough to KNOW that laying down with said woman can produce a child..USE a condom. One can’t complain ..i.e..MEN..what a woman choooooses to do with HER body after sex; IF they do the responsible thing and put a glove ON. No respect for a man who doesn’t take responsiblity for HIS part in this matter; yet thinks he can still call the shots. MANY women will die STILL getting abortions if the anti-abortion laws become Universal..Which is why abortion was legalized in the first place. Simple logic that even the blind can see

    1. Time to look at the other side of the coin? 8,200,000+ foetuses killed in the UK alone in the past 46 years. Probably 100,000,000+ foetuses killed worldwide in the same period. A high price to pay for women’s ‘choices’? I think so, and so do most of the women who support us, and make donations.

      1. Both sides of the coin are considered..Still boils down to the same thing..YOU nor anyone has the right to make a choice for someone else..IF a woman or man were to even attempt to tell you; or ANY man what to do with their testicles(or any part of your body..) you’d be appalled! It isn’t right nor is it just. No matter what side of the coin you “choose” to point out. We’re not going to agree on this matter. I respectfully choose to agree to disagree with you on this matter. Today, Tomorrow and Forever. Peace…

        1. Bernasvibe, thank you. So it doesn’t matter to you that British women have ended the lives of many more foetuses since the Abortion Act (1967) than Nazis ended the lives of Jews in the Second World War? This is acceptable to you on the altar of female ‘choice’? Wow. Thank you for making your position so clear.

        2. And thank you for clearly showing you’ve no “clear” understanding of what ‘I’m finished with this topic because its CLEAR we won’t come to a middle point..thus I said I agree to disagree, with respect. For the record that means from this post on of yours; you’re just speaking/writing to hear yourself speak/write. I’m sure you’ll have something else to the last word is yours. Peace

      2. Mike, I have thought of something that will hopefully help you to sleep more easily. I don’t think you need to worry about every single one of the 8.2 million. This is because not all of those abortions will have been choices made solely by women.

        In some of those cases, a man will have agreed with the decision. In others, a man will have forced or coerced the woman to have an abortion against her wishes.

        So I think that you need to gather some more data. Then you might have a better idea of how many of those decisions were made solely be women. After all, it’s women making choices (or, as you would put it, ‘choices’) that really bothers you.

  3. WOW!!! Firstly, I agree completely with bernasvibe here, no one has the right to tell anyone else what they can and can’t do with their bodies. period. There is certainly no one out there telling men what to do with their bodies, but men like you seem to think it’s okay to tell women what to do with theirs.
    Many many many many men don’t take responsibility for their children and women are often left struggling alone. Not one of you pro-lifers give a flying F*** what happens to these unwanted children once their born, not one. You’re only interested in the fact that they come into being. No one ever thinks of overpopulating the world, a world that already has more people in it that it is capable of taking care of. As far as I’m concerned, women everywhere should be able to have all the abortions they want! What a wonderful way to control the population. Unless you are personally going to pay and provide resources for all these unwanted people. In which case, props to you.

    Now, secondly, AS A JEW, How dare you compare abortions to the holocaust! Aborting a less than 12 week old foetus because of any reason is not the same as herding up already existing, living beings and treating them like cattle, gassing them to death, ripping families apart and vilifying them based on nothing but religion and your fear of their differences. Foetuses DO NOT HAVE LIVES. They have potential life. The jewish (and others) killed in WWII HAD LIVES. So yes, this is acceptable on the alter of ‘female choice’ and is in no way the same as what Hitler did to those killed and effected by the holocaust.

  4. Dear Glosswitch
    I’m so sorry people like Mike Buchanan come along and leave rubbish on your website and Twitter feed. It’s bad enough to have to read their random comments – let alone having them repeat their hateful propaganda to your face.
    I’m really impressed you are still so hopeful of human nature you believe they’d respect you in the event you became endowed with testicles.
    I think they’d hate you even more. Trans men could provide insight.
    Keep up your courage.
    love eilish

    Dear Mike
    1. The figure of unborn children is much much higher than 8 million. Consider that there are women who never get pregnant at all: or who don’t have a child every year during the period between menses and menopause. All those unborn people have been denied the right to education and housing and social benefits and employment – all because women have a measure of control over their fertility. The question is, would England really manage 100 million extra people ? How would you be able to count all their bedrooms to ensure that they live in cramped and unhappy conditions?
    2. Mick Philpott completely endorses everything you have to say.
    3. You forgot to thank Glosswitch for her kind letter.
    no love for you

  5. Dear Mike

    Thanks, Mike, thanks.

    This sounds like an equal opportunities issue for you. Men can’t be pregnant, so can’t have an abortion – why the bloody hell should wimmin be allowed that privilege?!? Amirite?

    And, just to save you the trouble of typing it all out, I already know that I am a ‘gender traitor’ and a ‘male feminist collaborator’ and that I only pretend to be pro-feminist to get loads of sex with the feminist laydeez. So you can skip that and just explain what policies a J4MB administration would implement to prevent the abortion of all the foetuses that you so obviously give no shits at all about.

    Coldest regards

    Adam GT MFC

    (and the women who have sex with them)

  6. mind – be debated again? 18 million foetuses? 28 million foetuses? 100 million foetuses?

    *forlorn look…*

    The fetus-fetish is strong with this one…

  7. I’m all for abortion why would I want to “help” bring a kid up that could be taken off me at the drop of a hat, and my house to boot.

    Read the surveys across europe girls, men approve of abortion far more than women. Also, its women who are on average more likely to want the “abortion cut off” point to be reduced. Im guessing those ultra sounds I keep on seeing on facebook are womens way of saying NO to abortion. Why do these women stick them up if its just a ball of cells??

    Presumably given its womens choice to want abortion less than men you approve? Yes?

  8. Dear Mike

    I had six “natural” abortions. I got no financial support for any of the treatments needed for me to carry a baby to term. No pro-life pressure groups cared that my babies were dying – in fact, they hated that I had medical treatment to try and save my babies! So, if you have a pregnancy that you don’t want, you just have to suck it up and if you have a pregnancy that you desperately want but can’t have or keep without medical treatment, well, you just have to suck that one up too. I don’t get it.

  9. Hi! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the excellent work!

  10. I could have sworn MB flounced out of these esteemed comment pages some time ago, vowing never to return. Political promises, eh? But when one has a new blog to spam mercilessly across the internet, that changes everything. (I imagine MB would prefer “new organisation”. But, semantic traditionalist that I am, I tend to think of “organisation” as an entity with more than one member. Not something that one “member” has three or so of.) Vanity blogs, vanity self-publishing, vanity “political party”. I’m sure there’s a common factor in there someplace, but I just can’t quite put my finger on it…

    As Mike is now adding overtly authoritarian frothing at the mouth social conservativism to his veneer of Pro-BizNiz Invisible Hand Free Market guff, I can only wish him all the success in the world in joining Ukip in causing the Daily Mail (first past the post, and proud of it!) vote to split and contend among themselves. To the profit of the intellectually honest.

  11. “Dear Cis Men Who Are Sad About Not Getting To Make Individual Choices About Abortion”

    If it’s their kid I don’t see why not.

    “And Therefore Want To Make Choices For Everyone Else”

    No, that’s liberal progressives who want to make choices for everyone else.

  12. “Dear Cis Men Who Are Sad About Not Getting To Make Individual Choices About Abortion”

    If it’s their kid I don’t see why not.

    “And Therefore Want To Make Choices For Everyone Else”

    No, that’s liberal progressives who want to make choices for everyone else.

Comments are closed.