Many moons (i.e. a few weeks) ago – when I’d first started this blog – I wrote a post on having some mummy me-time (i.e. that rare window of time during which you’re not at work or with your kids but just have time to “be you”, and hence feel under pressure to do lots of “being you” activities which aren’t very you-like at all). Well, guess what? That time’s come around for me once more! The kids are at Ikea for the day with Daddy and hey, I’m ready to rock ‘n’ roll!
So, I bet you’re wondering – how have I made the most of my me-time on this occasion? Well, wonder no more! Here’s an instant update – carpe diem, folks!
- I got the bus into town and met a friend and her partner for lunch. The whole thing was so exciting I even tweeted about the arrival of the bus to all my “followers” (did you miss it? Well, if so, don’t worry – the bus did arrive). We all had a nice, chatty, boozy lunch in Café Rouge, during which my friend’s partner regaled me with the tale of meeting a colleague, quite randomly, in Tesco’s in Bognor Regis (this is totally crazy because their office is in Farnham). In the spirit of sharing tales of similarly incongruous encounters, I told him about bumping into a one-night stand I’d had in Cambridge three years previously in a queue for passport control at Los Angeles airport. My friend’s partner didn’t say very much, so I assured him it was okay to judge; I know I’ve been a bit of a slag.
- We went our separate ways, then I had a short, skinny cappuccino in Costa in an effort to sober up. Only I’m not sure whether it’s worked. You shouldn’t really be allowed on the internet when drunk. But anyhow, here I am.
- I headed for the bus stop but popped into WH Smith on the way, on the basis that I “deserve” a treat. I am not sure quite why I “deserve” it. While having my cappuccino I made a donation to Lulastic’s Thrifty Challenge for the Salvation Army (this was while I was spending more on one cup of coffee than this woman plans to spend on food in a day. But hey, it’s a start). Anyhow, the truth is perhaps I don’t “deserve” a treat, but I got one anyhow. I bought this month’s Marie Claire because it has a free Body Shop lip and cheek stain (bronze glimmer or rose pink! Collect them all! Although I’d recommend the rose pink). Plus it also features the headline “I hid my crack pipe in my Uggs” on the cover. I’ve never had a crack pipe or Uggs. I just haven’t lived.
- I also bought a small pack of plain stickers in Smith’s. I am now using one of these to cover up the WordPress Graph of Statistical Doom on my browser. It’s a bit of a pain cos it also covers up other things, but I am quite serious about not wanting to keep track of how many visits I have to this blog any more. My self-esteem can’t take it. It’s too confusing. When I wrote the first Mummy me-time post last month, I had a fraction of the visits I get now, but back then I thought I was fucking famous. It’s all too much. I just don’t want to know (admittedly this will be a bit like when I go through long periods of not weighing myself. After a while I tell myself I’ve got too fat. Then I tell myself I’ve got paranoid and have probably got too thin. Then I weigh myself and I’m exactly the same as I was before, but terribly, hugely disappointed, because hey, you’d at least expect something to happen).
- I then went into Lush and bought a bath bomb. This is because Lush is even closer to the bus stop and it smells nice. And I know I said I was boycotting Lush. That’s why I bought two bath bombs, so I don’t have to go in there again. Plus I’ll think of something else to do to combat misogynist torture porn.
I got the bus home and that’s where I am now, still trying to sober up before my sons reappear. Perhaps I’ll see if there’s a re-run of Coach Trip or Come Dine With Me on later. It’s all a bit of a let-down really, given that lunch time started off like Sex and the City (albeit not in a city, or with any actual sex).
Anyhow, that’s today’s installment of mummy me-time ramblings. I may delete this post later, depending on how drunk I consider myself to have been while writing it. Hence, as with mummy me-time itself, best make the most of it while you can.