How to … wear foundation

You will need:

  • primer
  • concealer
  • highlighter
  • sponge applicator
  • foundation brush
  • foundation (cream, mousse, powder, powder to cream, cream to powder, mineral, colour adaptive or light reflecting)*
  • finishing powder (loose or pressed)*

*Choose wisely, ugly one.  You can’t afford to get it wrong.

Start with the primer. Or don’t. You might not need it, except you do, of course you do.

Use the concealer, just the concealer, a slick of gloss, mascara, look, you’re done (except you’re not, are you?).

Now the foundation.

Apply the foundation with a sponge, carefully, get the layering just right.

Apply it with a brush, pretend your face is a canvas, paint it on, just right. Only kidding, don’t do that.

Use your fingers, warm it with your fingers, so it sinks in just as it should. That might not be the right answer. I’m not telling you which one is.

Then add the powder.

Only don’t.

You don’t want to look caked, you want to look fresh and dewy,

like you did when you were 16,

only that’s how you never looked and you’re a useless canvas anyway.

Face it.

You’ll never get it right.

(at least not until you buy the next one)