The French call it l’esprit de l’escalier. The English do not call it the spirit of the stairs. But we should do. It’s a lot less wordy than that-thing-that-makes-you-think-of-the-right-thing-to-say-once-you’ve-walked-out-of-the-room-and-it’s-too-late-to-say-it.

I have the spirit of the stairs in buckets. This is largely because I am crap at talking. I am always the person sitting in meetings thinking how did they just come up with that? How come everyone else is so in the zone? I think this even if people have said things I don’t agree with (there’s a bit of me that always appreciates total crap if it’s nicely phrased).*

If I’m totally honest, it may be that the reason that I’m not saying ace stuff is I’m the only one in the room having the stream-of-consciousness why can’t I say ace stuff? inquisition in my head. And then I start thinking about that in itself and it all gets way too meta.

Over the past couple of weeks I have got pretty much addicted to blogging and twitter as suddenly I’ve discovered a way of, well, just saying stuff without the pressure. It’s also a means of saying stuff in a format of my choosing (not academic or business-speak). Hence I’ve learned that the way, deep down, I really want to communicate involves a lot of swearing. I never realized that before but fuck me, it feels good.

Anyhow, this post is all getting a bit self-absorbed, or up its own arse, as I should say now that I’m communicating as “the real me”. I’ll probably be back later to edit it. Once I’ve thought of something really ace to say.

* Julie Burchill, I love you.